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Wildcat News

My father always told me the oldest and the second oldest had more responsibilities than the younger siblings. They would take care of the younger siblings, take the blame for them, stand up for them. I'm only the middle child and for me I'm the second mom to my younger siblings, the one who acts the oldest out of my older siblings, and an aunty to my little cousins.

 

Growing up off grid, and moving a lot was hard. After my mother had two more kids in 2011 I was the one to take care of them while my mother worked. Ever since I was eight, I learned to do chores and take care of myself when my parents weren’t around. I mostly did everything a mom would do except for breastfeeding. In 2013 my workload of chores increased. I was taking care of my little siblings and cousins, and mostly acting as a stay-at-home mom but wasn’t really a mother.

 

I always thought I had more responsibilities than my older siblings. When my little siblings were around seven years old, I mostly stayed home alot to take care of them, feed them, clothe them. My mother’s sister and my uncle’s girlfriend would always ask me to watch their kids when they had things to do. I would watch them two weeks a month or more. It was very stressful when I started to take care of kids, I then got used it and now kids bring me joy. I had to always decline the request from my family members when they asked if I want to go out to watch movies, eat out or do things a normal teenager would do. I guess that’s because I felt an obligation to be a second mom, which means I couldn’t go out and have fun.

 

Another issue with being a middle child is feeling unwanted by your siblings. As the younger sister of two older siblings, I always questioned whether they really love me. I guess that’s because I expected my oldest siblings to take care of me, to have my back, and just love me.

 

But instead of them taking care of me, I ended up always taking care of them. For example, when my sister and brother would get into fights with my dad, I always was the one standing up for them. Even when I stand up for them, they don’t realize how I am defending them. They will even accuse me of talking back to my dad and being disrespectful to elders, but that’s not the case. I am trying to defend them. And in all honesty, he has lost the right to be a father to me. I know they don’t understand what I have gone through, but I still love them.

 

Today is still the same as it was years ago. I’m still a second mother, but I don’t take care of my little cousins or sisters that often anymore, but I request to when I get the chance. I spend more time with my mother, which makes me happy. And for my older siblings they are just trying to live their own life and get out of the house as soon as  possible.

marieanna taetuna-kalua'u, Writer

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